Am I the only one that does things for someone else and not myself?
There is no way I am the only one…
Let me set the scene: you just got asked to do another writing project from a company you do free lance work for. At the same time you are in school, a photographer, on the basketball team, the President of your Sorority, and working every weekend at the Tropical Smoothie to help you pay rent.
Now do not get me wrong, you are a KICK ASS writer. You kill it at everything you do, but you have WAY too much going on. Let’s be real though: How can you be good at everything you are doing at once?
Look at it like this:
How can we be awesome at everything we are doing at once? How can you be the star athlete, run a group of 300 girls, edit photos to perfection, and show up to your job? Simple answer right here: you can’t.
Giving a “no” is hard to do. I know this because I am a yes-man. As much as I hate to say it, I am someone who definitely needs some approval from others because I cannot give it to myself. Maybe if I am needed in every other aspect of my life, I will start accepting myself more and be okay with just being alone in my room doing nothing.
There is a tightrope we walk on as achievers. It is thin and some days we have a great balance and other days we have our legs dangling off and our pinky fingers holding us on as we make our way across. What if I told you that you could actually sew that rope a little thicker to give yourself some room to breath?
“Gina, that is impossible”, you say.
What if you gave yourself a list of all the truly important things in your life. You put them in order, honestly. At the top you have the things you love to do and you want to do. I challenge you to make this list no more than 5. This is the most important things you are trying to achieve RIGHT NOW.
family and friends
4. sorority work
Each of these lists has branches underneath, but these things get first priority when I am planning my week each Sunday. When extra things get piled on I go back to my week and check if all of these other things will be met first before I put extra things on.
Someone asks you to do a tutoring session for their writing course? You can fit that in on Tuesday? You have the time. GO FOR IT! This week you have a PACKED schedule and no room to breathe? Maybe try again next week or point them to someone else.
Your list might change.
This is normal! The things you love now might not be the things you love in one year. Life evolves, opinions change, and we have new priorities.
What do I want you to take from this?
You do not need to be great for anyone but yourself. You are the only person that can make you happy and no matter how many things you add on, you will most likely not feel as fulfilled as you would if you did the things FOR YOU. This does not mean you will not be tired and exhausted after a week of going on an adventure to Montreal or a whole day at the coffee shop working on your website.
The things we love often take a lot of energy from us. That is why, we keep that list short and we allow for recovery.
And no matter what you do:
Do not forget to fill your week with periods of rest. Yes, schedule that sh*t in because if you are like me you will overwork yourself and not give yourself a break.